lessons in self-love and acceptance {my struggle with hormonal acne}

Top: Ellery borrowed from Plan de Ville; Pants: St. John; Shoes: Oscar de la Renta via The RealReal; Bag: Chanel; Sunglasses: Celine; Bracelet: Tiffany's

First things first. I want to say, from the bottom of my heart, that I truly appreciate all your kind words and birthday wishes last Friday. To feel genuine connections today is rare and the fact I can share my little corner of the internet with you day to day and have it mean something to both of us -- to connect, to discuss, to commiserate, to support, to advise, to just BE, well that's nothing short of amazing to me. Truly. Thank you.

Secondly, but on a very related and open note, I wanted to talk about something that I've been dealing with and thinking about lately and that's self-image. Now, before this starts to sound like an eye-roll inducing after school special, I'd like to clarify a few things. This isn't where I get on a soap box and tell you the importance of self-image and self-worth. Because at the end of the day, I think we can all recognize just how important these things are and how very little they should depend on how we actually look and where we are in life, but our perspective on them. The tricky part, especially as I'm entering this phase where a lot of things in my life really are falling into place after years of hard work (knock on wood!), is how to address it when your perspective shifts. When things you can't control throw you a curve ball. When telling yourself that you're beautiful no matter what, gets a bit harder because of some new insecurity, big or small. When you just can't quiet the doubts that creep in, whether they're warranted or not. 

Where am I going with this? Well in the spirit of being open and honest with you all, for the past two years, I've been struggling with some persistent hormonal acne, primarily along my jawline. What started out as seemingly normal breakouts around that time of the month, has now progressed into something a bit more concerning and cystic in nature. As someone who historically never really dealt with acne as a teenager, aside from the typical pimple that showed up from time to time, this has thrown me for a loop. A complete loop.

Now, you may be wondering as to why it hasn't ever really been a topic here on This Time Tomorrow, or perhaps all that noticeable in my photos. And that's the beauty of makeup coverage and strategic hair placement and me just generally shying away from closeups of my face (I get really nervous when Lydia gets too close to me with her camera). For that, I want to say that I wasn't intentionally trying to mislead anyone about my appearance. At the end of the day, I wanted my outfits to be the focus, and the fact my face happens to pop in from time to time, is just a byproduct. 

In the whole scheme of things, I also realize my acne is by no means debilitating, and after many, many, many Google image searches looking for answers and explanations, I realize I'm much more on the mild to moderate side of the severity spectrum. Hence why it doesn't look all that obvious or noticeable in my photos. Does that mean my self-doubt doesn't creep in regularly? Of course not. Or that my insecurity doesn't control me sometimes? It definitely can and does. Or that some self-loathing, despite my better judgement, doesn't get the best of me? Oh god, it certainly does. More than I would like to admit. 

A bit dramatic? Perhaps. But isn't that the frustrating thing about insecurities? Sometimes, the things no one else really notices or cares about, are the things you blow out of proportion in our head. What used to be routine, like say, going to the coffee shop sans makeup, becomes an inner struggle of thinking everyone is staring JUST at your face. And your latest breakout. 

It can be isolating to say the least -- especially when a lot of your friends (or perhaps amongst my circle of friends), aren't necessarily going through the same thing, you can really start to feel alone. I find this particularly interesting, given that, after a lot of internet research and chatting with my dermatologist at great length, this is actually a really common problem among women my age (due to a long list of hormonal factors that I'm not really qualified to write or speak about). 

Now, I don't intend for this post to turn into a complete skin care routine write up as I'm still very much in the stages of sorting out possible causes and treatments, including but not limited to diet changes and a prescribed medication from my dermatologist. (That said, if you would find it helpful if I documented this experience here, please do let me know in the comments below!) Instead, I want this post to help anyone who's struggling with a self-image problem of their own, be it acne or not, to know that you're not alone. And despite how difficult it might get to remind yourself at the end of the day, it really is true: you are enough. You are. You are fucking more than enough. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And especially don't let yourself tell you otherwise.

Easier said than done, of course. Especially in an age of over-sharing and over-editing, when you can easily compare yourself to this person or that celebrity -- trust me, I get it. And in some ways, I feed into it -- it's the nature of this world I work in. Guilty as charged. But just as that saying goes, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle," you gotta be kind to yourself first. You owe that to YOU.

And in the spirit of self-love, I've partnered with my favorite facial oil, Biossance, to help celebrate their latest product launch, The Nourisher. As someone with, oddly enough, very dry skin despite my recent onslaught of breakouts, I've toyed with the idea of facial oils off and on the past few years, afraid it would just add too much "oil" to my already seemingly "oily" face. I've now fully incorporated them into my evening routine at the recommendation of my dermatologist, who has me on several cleansers and creams that are extremely drying on the skin to help combat my acne. Throw in the fact that winter is in full swing here in NYC and my skin has never been dryer. Never. It's been extremely uncomfortable and unsettling -- almost to the point that I've noticed my skin becoming a bit dull and less firm than I'm used to, particularly on my lower jawline and neck, where a lot of recent breakouts have been occurring. I'm trusting in the process that my dermatologist has outlined for me (and urge you to consult yours first before you start subscribing to this routine for your skin), but have relished in the fact I can lather on just a few drops of a gentle facial oil like Biossance's Nourisher combined with a gentle moisturizer like CereVe, and start to feel my old skin texture again, despite the necessary skin peeling from my cleansing routine. 

If you'd like to share your own self-love story, Biossance is hosting a giveaway over on their Instagram account. Simply upload an image of your own, share your self-love journey and tag Biossance and you'll be automatically entered for a chance to win a Nourisher sample. 

I also want to say that this post was extremely therapeutic for me to write -- and while I'm still very much in the thick of struggling with acne, I feel immensely better for getting this off my chest. It's something that I've wanted to discuss here on This Time Tomorrow for a while now, but the timing always seemed off and I had a million excuses as to why I didn't want to openly admit this thing that I'm extremely insecure about. But when Biossance shared their latest campaign story with me -- that of self-love -- I felt it would be amiss of me to not take this opportunity to stare this thing down in the face, once and for all, especially with a product that my dermatologist and I feel is a good fit for me and my skin right now.  

Of course, part of me is still afraid to hit publish -- because us silly human beings hate being vulnerable -- but I also recognize that if this reaches just one other person who might be going through something similar, than I fully believe it was worth it. And if you happen to be that one other person still reading this very long and rambling post and want to talk about it -- hit me up! I'm all ears: krystalannebick@gmail.com.

Eep. Hitting that publish button...now...

Photos by Lydia Hudgens

This post was in collaboration with Biossance. As always, all opinions and styling are my own. Thank you for supporting all This Time Tomorrow collaborations!

pep rally {with clinique}

Jacket: Eddie Bauer; Leggings: Lululemon; Shoes: Nike; Sunglasses: Celine

Lately, with my schedule a bit in flux these days with both the weather and NYFW kicking into high gear, I've been squeezing my workouts in during the mornings. If it's warm enough (which thank goodness, it has been lately!), I'll opt for a morning run along the Hudson (around 6am, eep!). If it's a bit chillier, or there's fresh snow on the ground, I'll head to my trusty Equinox or a Barry's Bootcamp class to wake up.

I've always considered myself an early riser -- and when the mood strikes me just right -- I love working out in the mornings. It's a great way to energize your day and by the time most folks are just thinking about their first cup of coffee, you've already covered a few miles or did your fair share of squats to get your booty looking fresh for summer.

For early mornings like these, I keep my beauty routine simple, with a fresh layer of BB cream and moisturizer to perk up my skin. The folks over at Clinique recently introduced me to their new eye cream, Pep-Start, which I've been testing out for my undereye area, right after applying my all over facial moisturizer. If you're like me, your under eye area is probably super sensitive when you first wake up (meaning I sometimes look like a zombie on the treadmill), but Pep-Start has been an easy step in my routine that actually perks up my skin (i.e. it feels more plump, making my eyes pop just a tad bit more). 

As for this past Wednesday's early morning workout with Clinique? Well let's just say I experienced my first 7am dance/rave/Daybreaker event. In short, I thought I was signed up for 7am yoga. Instead, I was greeted by fire acrobats, Knicks City Dancers and a ton of glow sticks. But that's another story, for another day, perhaps? ;)

Have you guys tried out Pep-Start yet? You can snag your own at Sephora right here.

Photos by Lydia Hudgens

This post was in collaboration with Clinique. As always, all opinions and styling are my own. Thank you for supporting all This Time Tomorrow collaborations!

the early bird {st. ives skincare}

Jacket: Eddie Bauer; Sweater: Everlane (from last year, similar style here); Jeans: Guess; Boots: Schutz; Bag: Chanel (obsessed with this similar version here); Sunglasses: Celine; Bracelet: Miansai

I keep saying that I would love to have one of those New York evenings where I stay out all night, hopping from restaurant to restaurant, bar to bar, club to fast food joint and then back to a bar again, all to see the sun come up over one of our many bridges. You know, like the Queensboro bridge scene from Manhattan. Precisely like that.

While all evening romps are certainly the norm still (and high on my list of things to accomplish here in NYC), I've been hearing more and more about 6am dance parties. The kind that literally kick off once the sun is coming up, instead of the other way around. (Let's see Woody Allen make a movie about that.)

As luck would have it, I recently was invited by St. Ives to a Morning Gloryville event just last week at Washington Square, where, you guessed it, before I even had my first cup of coffee, I was strapping glow sticks to my wrists and hopping around to a little EDM. Oh, there also may or may not have been tarot card readings, sunrise salutations and a little bathroom refresh station to spruce up before work, with some of St. Ives' skincare line (my personal favorite at the moment is their Blemish Control scrub, which is perfect for my oily, acne-prone skin).

Huge thanks to St. Ives for inviting me out last week and for helping me check the 6am dance party off my NYC bucket list!

Photos by Lydia Hudgens

This post was in collaboration with St. Ives. As always, all opinions and styling are my own. Thank you for supporting all This Time Tomorrow collaborations! 

spoils of oils {biossance}

A few weeks back, I mentioned I was taking baby steps into the world of facial oils. As someone with naturally oily skin as it is, I have this predisposition to avoid excess oily products like the plague -- so my rational self found this to be quite counterintuitive. That is, until one of you guys actually left a comment on Instagram (House of Ginger, I'm looking at you!) that made me think otherwise. Net, net: oily skin produces excess oil because it senses you need it, so if you're beating it to the punch with an oil of your own (and one that's more plant based), it'll essentially keep everything in check. And if done right, you're left with a dewy, youthful glow (aka, what I like to call the 'Miranda Kerr effect'). Sign me up.

This is where Biossance comes in. I was recently introduced to Biossance by a close girlfriend (who also happens to be a facial oil fanatic) and was excited to try it out for myself when they approached me to partner together this summer. Routine thus far has included a few drops in the morning before I apply my makeup (I've been skipping my regular moisturizer) and a few drops on a very cleansed face before I go to bed. I've also been sneaking it around with me during the day, as it's been great to dab on extra dry patches of skin elsewhere, my cuticles if I can't make it in for a manicure and even for dry, frizzy hair flyways. 

As a newbie to all of this, I've been sure to take serious notes as to changes in my skin tone, complexion and overall oil balance. Thus far, I'm happy to report the results have surpassed my expectations. Given that I recently just moved to a much more humid climate and my travel schedule has been nothing short of insane, my skin has been thrown out of whack, but I'm already starting to see a much more calm, even skin tone settling in, especially along my problem areas of my chin and patches along my upper neck. My skin feels hydrated but not overly weighed down or slicked over (which was one of my first concerns).

Where do you guys stand on the facial oil debate? And if you're a fan, have you tried Biossance already? Would love to hear your thoughts!

This post was in collaboration with Biossance. As always, all opinions and styling are my own. Thank you for supporting all This Time Tomorrow collaborations! 

my 5 skin care must haves right now {boots beauty}

So can I sneak a #31 on my 30 before 30 list?

I can? OK, great!

In that case, #31 would go a little something like this, ahem: SKIN CARE.

We've talked a little bit about skin around here on the blog before. And to be completely honest, it hasn't been something I've actively invested a lot of time in until recent years. Perhaps that's the onset of premature warnings of taking the right "anti-aging" steps that you get bombarded with in your mid to late 20s or the fact that my skin seems to be much more prone to breakouts lately (from what I've read, it seems to be hormone related, so hey, hormones, let's get it together, OK?). 

Either way, I like to think I'm looking at skin care more holistically these days. What I eat, drink, how much I exercise and even how much I sleep all plays a huge role, and I'm trying to be mindful of each factor's impact (perhaps another blog post, for another day?). As far as a product regimen goes, I'm relatively a creature of habit, often only introducing something new into the routine after it's come highly recommended by a trusted girlfriend.

This is where Boots Beauty comes in.

I've been a fan of Boots Beauty products for quite some time now, particularly their cosmetic line, and have always appreciated their efforts to keep organic ingredients and sustainability practices top of mind when it comes to their end product. Plus, the fact it doesn't break the bank (all of their items can be purchased at Target), certainly doesn't hurt either. So when they approached me about trying out their Botanics skin care line, I was more than game. Over the past few weeks, I've narrowed down my favorites, fine tuning what I think is a pretty well balanced, personalized routine. In no particular order, the top contenders are:

  1. Rosewater toning spritz: This is a completely new step for me in my skin care routine, that being right after washing my face at night, I'll lightly spritz this toning spray on, the goal of which is to tighten pores while I sleep and give your skin that little extra oomph to ultimately prepare it for moisturizing. I love the rosemary smell and it's consequent calming effect (perfect skin nightcap) -- and can already tell you I'll be toting this in my bag for mid-flight pick me ups for my many summer trips around the corner.

2. Ionic clay mask: This particular version has willowbark in it, which is said to have clarifying effects -- the salicylic acid in it is supposed to reduce the size of pores and improve blemishes over time. Given that breakouts are top of mind for me, I love doing a weekly clay mask just to remove the week's wear and tear on my skin, and this particular one, thus far, has left me with significantly less irritable, red skin afterward. 

3. Cleansing mousse: Just like the clay mask, this particular mousse relies on willowbark for a lot of those same properties suited for oily skin like mine. The selling point for me though? The mattifying effect it has is amazing especially since I'm somewhat prone to excess oil, particularly in my T-zone and along my chin. 

4. Radiance serum: This is another new step for me in my routine, that being a brightening serum, this particular one having a mild exfoliating effect. I've been blending in 2-3 drops of this in the mornings and evenings right after washing my face, and have already noticed a subtle glow effect it's had, especially around my cheekbones sweeping up to my eyes.

5. Facial oil: Ah, facial oils. I feel like every beauty counter I've gone to, they've made me swear on a stack of bibles that I'll never touch a facial oil because of my oily-prone skin. And while those who are perhaps more knowledgable about skin care than myself may still agree with said beauty counter experts, I have to say, I've loved my week so far with this facial oil! I've been using it in place of my normal moisturizer so as not to double up, and have loved it's lingering silky effect. My skin feels, dare I say supple, without venturing into oily territory. 

Now I'm curious, have any of you guys tried the Boots Botanics skin care line? I'd love to hear about your favorites! 

This post was in collaboration with Boots Botanics. As always, all opinions and styling are my own. Thank you for supporting all This Time Tomorrow collaborations! 

natural edit {what's on my nightstand}

It's funny how packing up your life into boxes makes you really evaluate the sheer amount of stuff you can accumulate. Case in point? My closet took me close to a full weekend to really dig through and sort. A lot of folding, boxing up, rediscovering pieces I thought were lost forever and cringing at a few that had managed to stick around for that long. It's been incredibly therapeutic in a sense to just cleanse -- pare down to exactly what I need and want in my life and part with the things I don't. 

My beauty shelf is really no different. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily a product junkie at heart but somehow, I've managed to fill a few overflowing shelves in my bathroom, precariously stacked and arranged with creams, foundations, powders, lipsticks and probably one too many brushes than I know what to do with -- a lot of them I love, a lot of them are samples I've yet to try. So naturally, when I tackled those shelves this weekend, I realized how very few products I really reach for on a regular basis -- the ones where I wouldn't be able to start my day without -- one of which is a great skin cream. As I get older, I'm starting to realize how much emphasis I put on routine, especially when it comes to something as foundational as skin care. I'm much more diligent about drinking lots of water than my former 20-something year old self, I apply a nightly eye cream (because those late night email catch up sessions are definitely catching up with me) and I don't dare leave the house without a base layer of SPF lotion on (Baz was right all along). 

I recently read about Voucelle and was intrigued by the stem cell activation of it -- to essentially encourage cell turnover -- for firmer, more resilient skin. I wouldn't say anti-aging steps are something I'm actively looking into, but sometimes the best preventative care is taken well before you need it so I was excited when the folks at Voucelle asked me to test drive it. I've been applying the serum nightly (after drinking a full bottle of water to boot) and have been really happy with the results so far, especially around and near my eyes, which tend to be slightly puffy in the morning. 

Have you guys tried it? Would love to hear what your thoughts!

Photos by Anna-Alexia Basile

This post was in collaboration with Voucelle. As always, all opinions and styling are my own. Thank you for supporting all This Time Tomorrow collaborations! 

grin and bare it {going bare with bareminerals}

I'm currently writing this post over Utah and from the looks of our in-flight navigation map, smack dab over the Great Salt Lake. As you may have spied on Instagram, I've packed up again, this time to head to Milan Fashion Week (my first time ever!). 

And while I'm beyond excited to jump right back into more fashion week chaos, let's talk beauty for a minute. I have to admit, my skin has been taking a bit of a beating lately. Between the recycled air on flights, biting winter winds and just not staying properly hydrated while traveling (hello, too much caffeine!), I'm finding some of my skin care routine mistakes are now catching up with me. (Insert forehead smack here.)

Luckily, my partnership with bareMinerals comes at a great time. If you've followed This Time Tomorrow for a while now, you probably already know I'm a huge fan of the brand and their clean, natural aesthetic. After all, any beauty company whose mantra is "Be original, be natural, be good" is definitely one I can get behind. They've recently launched their newest skin care line, Complexion Rescue and I've been loving the results thus far. Lightweight but with great coverage and extremely hydrating. It's a great fuss-free base foundation and keeps my skin slightly dewy with a natural glow -- two things I always find hard to "fake" during the winter because my skin takes on this weird combination of dry AND oily. I've always been a firm believer that less is WAY more when it comes to a lot of things -- beauty being chief among them -- and Complexion Rescue fits the bill for coverage with great skin care benefits. 

Have any of you guys tried it out yet? Thoughts so far?

This post was in collaboration with bareMinerals. As always, all opinions and styling are my own. Thank you for supporting all This Time Tomorrow collaborations! 

i'll have what she's having {skin bootcamp}

Unfortunately for me, I've never been blessed with naturally clear, glowing, oh-I-just-woke-up-like-this skin. And if we're being totally honest around here (because, hey, why not?) my skin has taken a beating the past few years during my 20s. Between working long hours, skimping on sleep and neglecting my diet from time to time (I guess those Annie's cheddar bunny snacks have finally caught up with me), it's clear to me I am in desperate need of a skin routine reboot. 

My skin has always been oily prone, but it wasn't until I moved from a really dry, hot climate (Nevada) to a more damp and cool environment (hello, SF!), that I saw a dramatic difference in how sensitive my skin really can be. These days, I've set a few mini obtainable goals for my skin routine with a short shopping list to try out (including a few of the products shown above). Let's kick things off here shall we?

1. Water: Seems like a no brainer, because really, it's on just about every tip list for skin care. I'm making more of an effort lately to swap out my coffee and Diet Coke for large bottles of water throughout the day. 

2. Makeup-free days: More often than not, Sundays are my down day, reserved for park adventures with Elvis, late brunch and email catch up, i.e. no makeup required. I like giving my skin a break to breathe, even if most of my makeup is oil-free and non-pore-clogging. 

3. Dairy: So my general doctor and my dermatologist disagreed on this point (dermatologist didn't think it would make a difference, doctor did) but I've wanted to try cutting dairy out for a while now to see if it would move the needle at all. There are lots of theories about the hormones in dairy and their correlation with acne and I'm by no means an expert in this area -- just merely trying it out to see if it works for me. I'll keep you posted.

4. Exercise: While there are lots of obvious reasons to work out more often, if we're purely talking about skin quality here, I have to say my skin has always been clearest when I've consistently been running 3 plus miles a day. Sweat it out, right?

As for my weapons of choice? Shop my top contenders right here...